Dear (the other) TB,

What are you doing?! The first time you creep'd into my favorite cafe was bad, but when you commented on my presentation, you won a few points back, even though it was seriously awkward. But today, there was no reason for you to stop and wave before you left. None at all. If you hadn't dropped the WB, I probably would've thought this was cute. Now, you're just a creeper. Keep your pretty blue eyes on your wife.

♥,
C.

Dear VB,

Here's how it's gonna go down. I'm gonna learn to understand Russian. When we meet in the hallways at work, you can speak to me in your native language, and I will speak in mine. The goal is to reduce the awkwardness in our encounters by removing/minimizing the language barrier. I like you a lot, you are my favorite older doctor in the building, and we need to do everything we can to reduce awkwardness. But let's face it: the level will never be zero, what with you stealing my m&ms, thinking I'm rich because I go out of town so often, having to occasionally share my desk, etc. But at least neither of us will feel like we have to take different routes to avoid seeing each other after we've already had one (awesome but) awkward encounter, which I'm pretty sure happened because you spent the first few minutes trying to figure out how to exchange appropriate pleasantries in the weirdest language ever: English. 

♥, 
C.

Dear EF,

I have successfully avoided accidentally running in to you for three years now, except for that one time with your son in the library, which wasn't terrible because he served as a distraction from my poor Italian skills. But today I broke routine, and there you were! You did not speak one word of English, and I comprehended zero, niente. (I actually Google'd that to make sure it was correct) I don't think you realized how traumatizing this was for me, so let me enlighten you.

Immediately after our meeting, I fled the scene like a murderer, all but running from the building. I laughed at the awkwardness on my walk to work... out loud. This made people stare uncomfortably. Then I tried to go through the revolving doors, and slammed into the glass curve on the other side. Once I was in the elevators, I thought I could regain my sanity, but no. I tried to push the "close door" button to speed up the process, but pushed "open rear door instead." So here I am, with two elevator doors open, with people awkwardly peering in.

It's okay. I learned my lesson. What? No, the lesson is not refresh my Italian speaking skills, so this is not uncomfortable next time. The lesson is stay away from Buttrick Hall, so I can avoid you all together.

♥,

C.