Dear Southern Gentlemen,

You keep holding open doors, I'll keep saying thank you, and we'll never move north. 

,

C.

Dear AN,

If there was an award for most annoying person on the internet, you'd definitely win. I would rather be surrounded by annoying kids and their creepy parents than reading your updates.

,

C.

Dear PG,

You recently wrote: Someday, you'll be reading my books.

Here is my response: No, I will not. Even if you managed to publish something in my genre instead of just documenting your ridiculous romance dreams, your grammar is ridiculous. I will never read anything you write... unless I need to make fun of someone to make myself feel better.

,

C.