Dear Married Men,

Here's the thing...

No.

♥,
C.

Dear Readers,

I sat at my computer for forever trying to think of something clever, witty, or at the very, very least, a little funny. Every time my fingers tapped on the keys, something bitter and sad (and let's be honest-- slightly offensive) fills up the screen.

The irony is, even though I have two very terrible jobs that still can't give me enough money every week for rent and other necessities, I'm in a really great mood today! I'm slurping up a milkshake with a side of sweet tea and chillin' in a place that is decorated with SEE ROCK CITY birdhouses and is ripping out all the oldies, stirring up some serious nostalgia of Richard Simmon's work out vids that my g-ma used to do with bottles of cream soda. In other words, I'm in my own weird... and incredibly Southern... version of Heaven.

I'm satisfied that this note wasn't as bitter as the one I trashed about marriage to the guy at work... and the one to my ex bashing his old/new lover. Now, let's go work for nothing! YEAH!

♥,
C.

Dear Meat Guy,

The way to my heart is not singing "I LOVE YOU" to the tune of "Take on Me" every time I walk by. You creep me out, and I'm never sure how to respond. Just leave me alone... I'm after Produce Guy, anyway.



♥,
C.

Dear Conversation Practicer,

Always, always say what you have practiced. If necessary, take a deep breath to calm yourself down before you open your mouth. I know you freak out in social situations, but I can't stress this enough-- it's crucial that you say exactly what sounds good in your head.

"I can't do my job without you doing yours" is way different than "I can't do my job without you."

And

"You were in this dream I had last night" is way safer than "I had this dream about you last night." (Especially if someone, like a teacher, is dropping eaves.)



♥,
C.

Dear Joshua,

You should tear SB's bracelet off. I know you're tired of seeing that bright orange thing day after day after day. Do us all a favor.

♥,
C.

PS- A double-decker cheese sandwich is pretty gross. You should have that looked at.

Dear Readers,

So I've been laying low for quite some time. I'm trying to adjust to a new lifestyle and a new town. This has really been a dream of mine for some time, and now I'm living it out. It's crazy and weird, and every now and then, I think I'm not gonna make it. However, so far, the move to Chattanooga has been one of the easiest transitions ever. Easy because it involves exactly what I've written so far. Laying low, being crazy and weird (those things come so natural!), basically having not one care in the world. Well, almost...

Anyway, to keep you interested in me and to explain the "almost", ALB has allowed me to be a guest blogger this week on "Life Is Like That". Such an honor. If you're not already reading LILT on a regular basis, you are missing out on the best blog in the www. So what are you waiting for! GO!

♥,
C.

Dear SR,

I'm glad you had fun at the after-party last night, but you should consider showering before coming to class. You smell like sex and liquor.

♥, 
C.